- Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi -

*(I show not your face but your heart's desire)*

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Another truth...

How I'm gonna write.


Honestly and truthfully, I didn't realized that this blog being used by certain people to gain votes or as campaigning tool. It's makes me wonder why all of sudden, so many people viewing this blog especially that post. You know what I meant.

But still, I feel disappointed. (Disappointed is not the strong word. "Aku rasa sangat sangat terkilan"). There I said it. I just can't believe it.

Get the 1st hand story... the truth behind adib & ayuni from the ex-officio itself. Log on to -> lordbiohazard.blogspot.com. Sgt pntg! Sblm mengundi, bc & sebar luaskan.

God. I don't know what to say. Mad? I'm not capable of being mad anymore. Nor upset. Or others. I know that the post was going to be a huge mistake. I know something unpleasant will occurred. But that thing (being used) never crossed in my mind. I don't know it will become like that. If I know, I wouldn't post it. Seriously I'm speechless. Wordless. I hope that whoever started this will soon realized for their mistake. For me, you have invaded my privacy. I didn't ask you to popularize my blog. Did I get the royalty? Nope. What you have succeeded is making another misunderstanding (or so I think). Thank you very much.

God... I can't even read the message above. Makes me sick.

Once again I apologize to whom it may concerned. But I'm gonna say it (and I think I've said it in that post). All the things that I've wrote is on my perspective. It was not influenced by someone. And I'm not going to delete the post. I see no reason for me to delete it. What's done is done. You can't turn it back. Yeah... move on.

It's been a week since the election. But only just now I know the truth. Yeah... another truth behind.




p.s: And that's why I hate politics!!! Both sides are the same~

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A statement...

For this few days, this blog's been read several (if not several, hundreds) times by I don't know... dozens of persons. And suddenly it becomes well known!! I know.. some of the post are too emotional... Yeah I also think that too. But then, that's the use of blog. To express your feelings rite? So I admit, I was too emotional. I was very frustrated and disappointed. The election thing. The ADIB thing. (Mostly because of ADIB. The two events were not at the right time). I felt the same during my time I was in charge. I try to help them to make it better than before. But always being halted. Deep in my heart I regret. Regret because I was there to witness all of it. I really hope that I don't have to be there. Seriously. Because I know something will make me mad/furious and it will ended in this blog. And probably hurting someone's feeling. I know someone's hurt. And I know someone will use this issue over and over again. As a tool or as a point in criticizing. Maybe to tell people that I am really, really, extremely bad. Yeah I am. So what? Nobody's perfect. And if I'm that bad, I will not care about other's feeling or have guts to apologize. But I can't help other than feeling guilty and I apologize for any of my mistakes. That's it. But I don't think this will stop here and end nicely like this. Just see...



*Lantak korang la nk ckp ape. As if you have such a great effect on me. I'm not messing with your life so don't mess with my life. Geddit?*

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

University of Malaya : Undergraduate's Representative Council Election result. (Update 2)

The full and official result of the Campus Election can be viewed in Malaysiakini.com, Mahasiswakini.com and ProMahasiswaUM. Only 3 of these web/blog updated the news. And the official blog of PenggerakMahasiswa still haven't updated yet. Dunno why. Maybe still shock by the result. Hehe.

*Seriously aku sgt penat dan mengantuk... sbb tu malas nk tulis byk2*

The candidate U18 wins the election by 5000 votes. Congratulation! Akhirnya kebenaran itu terserlah.

This leave to the question. Siapakah yang akan mengepalai kabinet untuk satu sesi ini? Siapakah yang bakal mengisi jawatan-jawatan kosong dalam Majlis? All we can do is just wait and see...

For the post-electoral analysis, you can viewed here. *once again.. aku takde mood skang ni.. tutorial blom siap lg...(aku link ko nye blog je la ek shida.. lebih kurang same je nk ckp)*

University of Malaya : Undergraduate's Representative Council Election result. (Update 1)

This is the official result of the Campus Election.

Based on trusted source (sumber yg dipercayai.. takbleh blah), Pro-Mahasiswa wins 8 from 9 public seats or Representative Council (MPMUM) seats. This means that Pro-Mahasiswa wins the Campus Election and retook back from Penggerak Mahasiswa or Aspirasi after 5 years being denied.

Anyhow I would like to congratulate all the winning candidates. Hope that the newly-elected 'Yang Berhormat' will bring a new hope and change to all students in University of Malaya.


Thank you.



*For the Faculty seats result, I'll try to update as soon as possible. And also the fate of candidate U18. Until now I haven't heard any of the news.*

Monday, January 19, 2009

Another conspiracy?

Just received message from one of my friend.


It says that the Student Affairs and Alumni (HEP) changed the number for all candidates running for public seats.

What? Another conspiracy? Are they that really desperate? They thought by changing the number, the students will vote the wrong person. Thus ensure the victory of their selected candidates. 4 years since I've been in UM (3yrs undergrad + 1yr PASUM), this is the 1st time I've heard that last minutes changing. Truly this is the worst Campus Election in history.

So due to the change, the number for candidates U17 changed to U18!



Sesungguhnya kebenaran itu untuk orang2 yang sabar. Vote for hope. Vote for change. Insha-Allah the truth will be revealed.


The truth behind...

OK. Let me tell you what had happened to ADIB. Korang tau la... projek yang mendapat liputan meluas. Tanyalah sesiapa pun. Almost all UM students know about ADIB. But I tell you beforehand that whatever I write in this is not influenced by anyone or any side during this Campus Election process. All this is on my perspective. My point of view.

ADIB adalah projek kesinambungan daripada Pertandingan Forum IPT 2008.

Let's just skip the crap and go to the D-Day. Tarikh keramatnya adalah pada 16 dan 17 Januari.

Tapi sebelum projek ini berjaya dilaksanakan, banyak halangan yang terpaksa dilalui oleh semua Ahli Jawatankuasanya. Halangan terbesar datangnya daripada Penyelia Penasihat projek ini sendiri. I don't know what's his problem to the committee members. But just like I said, for him all we did is wrong and all the thing he said is always right. And he makes the committee members do exactly what he said. Dan seingat aku tugas Penyelia Penasihat adalah untuk menasihatkan Majlis Tertinggi agar projek ini berjalan dengan lancar. But what happen is the completely opposite. He made all the members to do exactly what he said. For him, his word is divine. If you don't follow you will regret. (maybe the word divide is not suitable but this is what I feel). He force the committee to accept his plans. The same as what he did to me on Forum.

On the Thursday, one day before the day, the committee faced a lot of trouble. Dengan hadiahnya yang belum ditempah. Semuanya gara-gara penyelia penasihat tersebut. Sedangkan sebelum ini pengarahnya ada memberitahu penasihat tersebut rancangan jawatankuasa untuk menempah hadiah di satu tempat. Tapi seluruh jawatankuasa dimarahi kerana bertentangan dengan rancangan penasihat tersebut iaitu untuk menempah hadiah dengan seorang kenalannya. (I think he has share holder in the company.. hehe)

And so, the committee were forced to follow his plan.

On Friday, all things went well. Despite of order from the Penasihat to make the Majlis Makan Malam ended early, all things were smooth. Pengarah terpaksa memujuk penasihat tersebut agar majlis itu dapat dihabiskan pada 9.30 malam. Alasan penasihat untuk menyegerakan majlis makan malam adalah untuk memberi laluan kepada perjumpaan dengan pelajar junior untuk menerangkan apa yang berlaku semasa proses kempen untuk Pilihanraya Kampus (PRK). Lalu penasihat tersebut terpaksa beralah dan perjumpaan dengan pelajar junior ditukar ke Balai Islam.

Hari Sabtu merupakan hari pertandingan. They began a little bit late but all things run smoothly. Dan kemudian penasihat projek tiba dan memanggil pengarah, floor manager dan stage manager untuk berbincang mengenai protokol untuk majlis penutup. I was not in the discussion group. But what I know later is that the penasihat ask the committee to end the Majlis Perasmian Penutup at 10 pm. The reason? I don't know until late afternoon. Rupanya untuk memberi laluan kepada calon-calon dari Penggerak Mahasiswa (Aspirasi) untuk berkempen dan membentangkan manifesto mereka. For me it's ok as long as they will not disturb us.

Pada sebelah malamnya adalah Majlis Makan Malam dan Majlis Perasmian Penutup. Dan pada malam inilah segalanya berlaku.

Insiden dimulakan dengan kehadiran seorang calon dari Pro-Mahasiswa hanya beberapa minit sebelum majlis bermula. The candidate, Syaukat Salim running for the Faculty of Science seat suddenly storm Dewan Santapan. Kesemua ahli jawatankuasa terkejut. Begitu juga aku yang berada di meja yang menempatkan peserta UM. Calon tersebut dengan tiba-tiba terus pergi ke setiap meja yang menempatkan peserta dari universiti berlainan dan memberikan kertas manifestonya kepada peserta tersebut.

*And the story begins*

Sha (Sharifah Pengerusi JKP Seni 4th) yang dok semeja ngan aku tanye la die nape wat camtu. Die tak tau ke yg sume yg ade kt dlm dewan tu bkan pelajar UM. Lgpon calon tu tetibe je masuk majlis orang. Tak hormat langsung. And then Ashraf the 3rd (ade 3 Ahsraf kt 4th... sorang final year, sorang 2nd year and this one junior 1st year) panggil die, ckp la calon tu takleh buat camtu time majlis rasmi. Dah la nk mule. Sume AJK tergamam. Tak tau nk buat ape. Syakila (S/U JTK 4th) pon ade bgtau calon tu gak. Pastu ape lagi, mengamuk la calon tu. Ckp die kene tipu. Sebab dlm surat pengesahan utk berkempen kt 4th die mintak kol 9-10. Pastu admin 4th ubah kol 8.30-9.30 (kalo tak silap). Calon tu dtg la kol 8.30. Tgk-tgk yang ade kt dewan AJK ngan peserta unversiti lain je. Pastu aku tanye Sha sape yg bg kebenaran die nk kempen time ni. Pastu Sha ckp org biase la. Baru aku paham. Penyelia penasihat projek merangkap pemangku pengetua 4th yg bg kebenaran.

Aku mmg sangat marah. Bkan fully marah kt calon tu. Tp marah sape yg bg kebenaran kt calon tu utk dtg kempen time tu. Die (org yg bg kebenaran tu) tau yg time tu ade majlis rasmi. Tapi sebab calon tu dr Pro-Mahasiswa die bg gak kebenaran. Siap pinda waktu berkempen lg. Die igt die bleh malukan calon tu and Pro-Mahasiswa umumnya yg Pro-M ni tak profesional. Die nk malukan Pro-M dpn wakil universiti lain and cam bg mesej yg Pro-M ni jahat. Keji sungguh cara die nk kenekan orang lain.

Yang si calon tu pon satu. Dah tau kt dlm dewan tu ramai bkan student UM nk pegi gak kempen. Ape kes? Kalo nk kempen pon pegi la kempen kt AJK. Peserta lain tu bkannye bleh mengundi pon. Tak penah aku tgk Barack Obama pegi kempen kt pelancong yg dtg ke America. Tak professional langsung. Pastu marah2 Ashraf the 3rd ngan Syakila sebab halang die berkempen. Ktorang tak halang. Yang kitorang halang die kempen kt orang yg tak sepatutnya. Pastu nk marah2 ini demokrasi la. Ktorang ni penghalang demokrasi la. Biadap sungguh! Bende tu sangat memalukan.

Aku kesian kt die (calon tu). Ktorang mmg kesian kt die. Dikenakan camtu skali. Tp die takkan takbleh paham. Yg AJK projek sendiri tak tau apape. Tau2 die dtg utk kempen. Die kene naya. AJK pon kene naya. And then die igt majlis tu halang die nk kempen. Ish. Dah mengamuk tu pastu die dtg kt meja ktorang (peserta UM) and tetiba je tuduh "Korang jentera Penggerak nk halang aku".

Ape lagi. Menyirap darah aku. Sume org kt meja tu marah la. And then Syakila terpaksa panggil abg Ijan and call Ayuni suruh tenangkan si Syaukat ni. And then pastu die dah tenang die blah kot. But seriously aku tak paham calon camtu. Perjuangkan perubahan, perjuangkan mahasiswa. Tp takde etika profesionalisme langsung. Tengah hari tu Fika ade kempen kt aku suruh undi die (Syaukat) sbb Fika bdak Geo and die pon bdak Geo. Aku ckp ok la. Tp lpas kejadian tu mmg di tak layak langsung nk dpt undi aku. Biadap. Kurang ajar. Tak hormat orang lain. Camni ke nk jadi pemimpin?

Betul la kate orang "When facing the hard time, people will show their true colors". And itulah true colors of Syaukat. Maybe if he behave correctly die akan dpt respect sume orang kot. Tp sebaliknya berlaku. Tak tau la sape bace blog ni ckp aku reka2 cite and ckp die baik takkan buat camtu etc. Tp bagi aku tak. He doesn't deserve my respect and my vote. Period!

Abis cite tu. Masuk cite baru.

Time tu perasmi blom smpai. And Ayuni pon dtg. Ayuni dtg sebab die peserta ADIB mewakili UM. (Shahrizul Ayuni Zulkiply; calon umum bertanding atas tiket Pro-Mahasiswa. Die la yg femes satu Malaya pasal cite rasuah and report polis tu). Ktorang satu meja risau gak sebab yg akan datang tu TNC HEP. Tp die ckp takpe. Ok la.

Pastu tibalah masa yang dinantikan. Ucapan perasmian. Yg perasmi tu naik la atas pentas utk berucap. Mukaddimah ok tp pendek. Masuk la part isi. Part isinya hanya berkisar kepada apa yang berlaku sepanjang tempoh kempen PRK UM. Selama lebih kurang 30 minit ucapan berbaur politik yang takde kene mengena langsung dgn projek yg berjalan. Siap menyerang secara peribadi lagi. Dpn2 wakil universiti lain pegi sebut nama Ayuni yang kononnya buat report polis terhadap die. Kalo tak sebut nama takpe la gak. Ni dok sebut nama pastu pegi tanya "Saudari Ayuni ade tak kat sini?". Ceh. Dah tau ade saje je nk malukan org tu. Siap pegi ckp pasal parents Ayuni la. Sebut bab agama la. Kubur jd berat kalo fitnah org. Pastu yg paling takbleh blah pegi ckp "Buat dosa ngan Allah boleh. Buat dosa ngan manusia tak boleh".


Die nk ckp buat dosa ngan Allah, Allah boleh maafkan dgn taubat. Tp buat dosa ngan manusia takleh sebab bkan sume manusia bleh memaafkan. Aku paham point die (perasmi) tapi bkan camtu skali nk ckp. Berpada-pada la. Ni satu jenis org gak yang aku tak paham. Die bkan berucap dpn student UM. Kalo audience tu semuanya student UM, takpe la gak nk sebut name org yg kononnya fitnah die. Walaupon itu dikira serangan peribadi. Tapi audience malam tu adalah bukan pelajar UM. Kenapa perlu sebut nama Ayuni. Pastu ckp pasal parents die. Syakila dah hentak meja dah. Nasib baik perlahan. Kalo tak... Ashraf the 3rd dah bising pasal dosa tu. Yg lain semeja termasuk aku tak senang duduk dah. Ye la... org ckp buruk pasal kawan. Sape tak marah?

Tp tgk Ayuni cool je. Ish. Kalo aku la yg kene camtu... Tak tau la. Huru hara kot. Tgk Ayuni diam je. Sekali-sekala senyum. Rase kesian sgt. Org secara terang2 attack die. Ckp pasal parents lg. Dlm ati die sape la yg tau... Tapi mmg ucapan tu tak masuk akal. Ucapan untuk berkempen. Sorang lg cam Syaukat. Kempen tak kene org.

Tapi aku tak salahkan sesiapa. Perasmi ataupon calon. Jauh sekali Ayuni. Kenal die since 1st year. W/pon tak rapat tp tau cara die camne. Die bkan cam org yg aku benci tu. Die takkan sekali2 fitnah org. Byk cerita negative pasal die. Semua dari kem Gerak. Tp yg ktorang kawan2 die tau; die tak bersalah. Ada org ketiga yg nk pecah belahkan semua ni. Same gak pasal isu kepala babi dlm surau API. Aku caye bkan Gerak yg buat. Bkan Pro-M yg buat. Ade pihak lain yg nk jatuhkan org2 tertentu dan menggunakan nama Ayuni. Lantak korang la nk caye yg mana. Yg penting die tak bersalah. Semua bdak 4th tau. Dari junior 1st year smpailah senior final year. Tu la yg membuatkan "Pemangku Pengetua" tu takut. Sebab pengaruh die makin terhakis di 4th.

Dan satu lg, aku bukan Pro-M dan jauh skali Gerak. Aku hanya menyokong calon sahaja. Bukan parti. Kalau pasni ade yang tak puas ati, sila bg komen. Kalo ade yg tak betul nnt aku betulkan. Nk bukti yg die tak bersalah? Aku bkan Sherlock Holmes nk carik bukti ni. Tanya tuan punye badan sendiri. Jangan buat fitnah pasal die. Dlm report polis tu pon bkannye ade name TNC. Die tak report pasal TNC. Die report pasal surat tu. Paham sket keadaan. Ade org putar belit ckp die report pasal TNC bg rasuah. Nonsense! Clearly ade org nak laga2 kan.

Dan perasaan benci aku kat org tu takkan padam. Bg aku die la punca semuanya pasal projek ni dpt publisiti meluas. Camne AJK dimalukan dpn universiti lain. Die tak kesah asalkan matlamat die tercapai. Lpas abis program bleh panggil sume AJK masuk bilik VIP. Pastu nk amik ati ckp TNC tak bersalah. *Mmg la tak bersalah. Ko yang mengapi-apikan.* Pastu pandai2 je ckp kt AJK ape yg TNC bg ucapan tu ade kene mengena ngan tema projek. Adus... sampai begitu terdesak sekali.

Voting process will begin in few hours. For me I will vote at Dewan Tunku Canselor. And I hope UM students make right choice. Once again; vote the good candidates. Not the party they represent.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Boleh tak korang membenci seseorang dengan sebenci-bencinya?
Perasaan benci tu macam perasaan sayang. Sayang seseorang sesayang-sayangnya. Tapi dalam kes ni korang sangat benci.
Atau lebih teruk korang benci seseorang macam korang benci syaitan/iblis.
Boleh tak camtu?

Itulah yang aku rase sekarang. Dalam hati aku yang ade hanyalah perasaan benci. Before this takde. Dulu perasaan tu hanye tak suka. Aku harap perasaan tak suka tu akan hilang. Dan dalam hati aku aku harap dapat maafkan die walaupun die buat jahat kat aku. Tapi die tak penah berubah. Malah die secara terang-terangan provoke. Pade die apa yang kita buat semuanya salah. Apa yang die cakap semuanya betul. Kalau die tak suke orang tu senang-senang je cantas. Pastu nak buruk-burukkan orang tu. Kesalahannya hanyalah menegakkan kebenaran. Kalau orang bangun menentang die habis kene gam/cantas sampai ke akar.

So perasaan benci tu timbul. Dan rasenye aku tak dapat maafkan perbuatan die dunia akhirat. Tak pernah aku jumpe orang yang sekeji macam tu. Orang yang sanggup menggadaikan dan menggunakan orang lain semata-mata untuk kepentingan sendiri. Orang yang sanggup memalukan orang lain untuk mencapai matlamat. Aku tak sangka die boleh buat camtu kat ADIB. Aku tak sangka gak die boleh malukan AJK ADIB depan wakil-wakil universiti seluruh Malaysia. Ape punye orang camni? Dah la ADIB tu projek die. Walaupun hanya sekadar projek anak tiri, tak semegah projek kesayangan PROSPEK. Tapi still tu projek under die. Die yang jadi penyelia penasihat. Tak ke memalukan diri sendiri camtu? *ADIB (Arena Diskusi Bestari 2009)*

Dengan perasminya yang berucap tak kene tempat. Bagaikan membuka pekung di dada. Depan-depan wakil universiti lain memalukan Universiti Malaya. Dah tu, perasmi tu ingat wakil-wakil universiti ni tau secara detail ape yang berlaku time kempen Pilihanraya Kampus (PRK) Universiti Malaya. Aku sendiri sebagai warga UM malu. Cerita yang tak baik pasal diri sendiri. Kalau ye pon nak cakap orang lain tu tak betul jangan la sampai buka pekung di dada sendiri. Malu la wei~

Ish. Aku sangat tak boleh terima la ape yang terjadi. Kesian sangat kat AJK ADIB. Memang die melampau. Gunakan ADIB sebagai platform kempen. Ish... Memalukan.

And for the 1st time I'm using almost 100% Malay. Bukan ape. Marah sangat sampai buat ayat pon macam buat karangan. Nak lepaskan semua. Geram sangat.

Kepada rakan-rakan dari universiti lain, kalau nak tau ape yang terjadi tengoklah kat Malaysiakini.com atau Mahasiswakini.com (sehingga blog ini ditulis, berita pasal ADIB telahpun disiarkan dalam mahasiswakini.com... hanya dalam beberapa jam sahaja). Nak cari kat akhbar perdana takde. Sebab kes-kes yang berlaku terlalu sensitif kepada keamanan Malaysia sehinggakan akhbar tak 'publish'(maybe wartawan rasa berita ni too sensitif so sebab tu diorang tak publish) berita tersebut daripada tersebar. Taknak komen apa-apa tapi kalau berita ni tersebar dalam arus perdana, rasanya Malaysia akan huru-hara. Tapi sebagai mahasiswa dan orang Islam akan rasa marah dan terkilan.

Seriously aku kecewa dengan ape yang berlaku. Memang nak ceritakan ape yang berlaku malam tadi dan ape yang berlaku time kempen Pilihanraya Kampus UM. Tapi rase geram sangat sampai dah tak tau nak mulakan. Benci sangat kat die sampai nak tengok muka pon dah tak boleh. Even nak sebut nama. Tak boleh la. Post lain la aku ceritakan. Tidur dulu dan kuatkan semangat!

So kepada warga Universiti Malaya yang akan mengundi dalam PRK hari Isnin ni (esok la technically), satu nasihat kat korang;

Undilah calon yang korang rasa berkebolehan dan dipercayai. Bukan undi untuk parti/pihak yang bertanding.


Sekian, terima kasih~

P.S: Tak sangka aku berkempen weh!! Pelik sebab b4 this tak penah amik kesah pon. Tahun ni semangat plak...

Friday, January 9, 2009


Salam. Shamim pe kbr? Nk tny tau x nk lukis @ design pamplet? Tq. -Imran-

Salam. Baik. Tau la sket2 tp mostly gne publisher je. -Me-

Ok leh join x jentera pusat? -Imran-

*Ah sudah~*

In the middle of fierce campaign for the P36 Kuala Terengganu by-election, I received a message from Abg Imran (he's working at Deputy Vice Chancellor (Student Affairs & Alumni) office, I don't know his position but surely close to Asc. Prof. Azarae) asking me to join the campaign committee for the campus-election. Gosh. I totally forgot about the election. It's supposed to held last semester but some things happen and postponed to this semester.

Man, just when I'm about to feel the sweet taste of independence (yeah.. being free from college thing) this thing comes. Unexpected.

And seriously I don't know what to answer. I mean, when it comes to the campus politics I don't take much for granted. I just know who win, which side and so on. But to stand on one side is somewhat... I don't know... not me. It seems like it doesn't effect me at all. Different from world politics or Malaysian politics which I followed it thoroughly. Campus politics is so not for me. Huhu.

Or maybe I just help him. Just help. Yeah. That's much safer. Rite?

Oh by the way:





See... told you I'm following the world issues and politics~